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First of all....

I didn't expect everyone to gravel at my feet but I will be the first to admit I do like sympathy and at least a hug would have been nice. Thank you barefootprego 
and I'm feeling a lil better today by the way.

anyway here is a quiz thing I ganked from ayeita 

1. Do you wear a name tag at work?   I don't work now, but I've always wanted one and never had a job where I've had to wear one

2. What kind of car do you drive? a Jeep

3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell? Beef Chalupa supreme and somethin else, w/e I'm in the mood for.

4. Have you ever had a garage sale? Once when I was little and we tried unsuccsesfully when we left this last house

5. Is or was your best friend a cheerleader? Yes one of my best friends was but ohhhhh I could never be

6. What is your best friend's favorite color? Red or Black

7. What college do you go to? I don't

 8. What's the most unique thing you have in your place? I know it's the corny route but if I'm gonna be totally honest I'd have to say Chloe

9. What’s your favorite scent of candle? Peach or Blueberry

10. Do your bed sheets match your bedroom?  no. Nothing matches

11. What's the color scheme of your place?  blue

12. What kind of cell phone do you have? dont have one

13. Who was your best friend soph and junior year of high school?  Tenth grade was hell so no one.... junior year.... Aimee.

14. What color is your ipod? Don't have one :*(

15. What kind of dog do you have?   don't have one of those either

16. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?   no

 17. What is your favorite keychain on your keys? the one that lights up

18. What did you get for graduation?   G.E.D. bitches get nothin

19. What is your favorite Dane Cook quote?  not a quote but the thing where he calls his grandma a cheater at Monopoly is pretty funny

20. Who introduced you to Dane Cook? I saw it on comedy central. Good shit before he got bigheaded

21. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?   no

22. What DVD is in your DVD player?   Cheech and Chong Up in Smoke....... I'm not joking

23. What's something fun you did today?   I did nothing yet except make some tea

24. Who was the principal of your high school? don't remember

25. Has your house ever been TP'd?? yea

26. What do you think of when you hear the word meow?  sexiness....... or a cat

27. What are you listening to right now?   the sounds of everyone else sleeping... silence, the fan, the clock ticking. I'm in pain and I can't sleep : (

28. What is your high school's mascot? Ford Falcons then the Berkley Bears

29. What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart?  shoes or makeup

30. When is your mom's birthday? Aug. 9th

31. When is your dad's birthday? Aug. 18th

32. What is your natural hair color? dirty blonde

33. What did you get for valentine's day?  love

34. Which one was your favorite Backstreet Boy? I was an N'SYNC girl

35. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? It was givin to me

36. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror? the rearview mirror fell off, was glued back on, and fell back off. So no, nothin there.

37. Favorite class last year?   boo

38. How many states in the US have you been to?  idk drove through a few but actually been too about..... 4 or 5

39. What kind of milk do you drink? whole, for Chloe's sake

40. What are you going to do after this? play dumb games

41. Who was the last person you went shopping with? I hate shopping. Probably Tom

42. Does your grandma have a dog?   She lives with my aunt and uncle and they have Spike the terror lol

43. What is your favorite fruit?   watermelon

44. What about your favorite dessert? chocolate mousse

45. What is something you need to go shopping for? socks n undies. All clothes for that matter

46. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives? no

47. Do you know how to play Chess? no

48. What bank do you go to? Flagstar

49. Do you like pickles? love em

50. How about olives?   black ones

51. What is your favorite kind of gum?   Ectra... I think spearmint. Whatever the bright green kind is

52. What is your favorite kind of juice?   Pineapple Orange Banana... Dole

53. Do you have any tan lines?   no, I'm pasty

54. Do you have one of those fuzzy things on the lid of your toilet seat?   No

55. Do you remember the name of your kindergarten teacher?  Mrs. Cantrell

I give up trying to write captions and put these in order. No idea how to do all this livejournal sucks but barefootprego  suggested I put up some pics of Chloe and I realized I haven't in a long time so I made a Chloe collage of my faves. Most of em are from her actual birthday and her birthday party.... Her cuteness should defintely be shared with the world : D

We had a great Christmas. She has sooooooo many more cool outfits than I do!!! Well, that's not saying much considering I have, literally like maybe 5 since I gained weight and can't fit into anything. She got a lot of cool toys too.
I finally got a pair of jeans and some cute boots and a few shirts I'm a little self-conscious about wearing. I'm still sticking too baggy t-shirts and hoodies for the most part until I find a way to lose some freakin poundage here.
It was a great first (real) Christmas for her ,  I couldn't be happier.
Also..... Tom's mom can't afford her house so she just bought a really nice trailer with 3 bedrooms and is AWESOME enough to let us to continue to stay with her and Chloe and Tom and I will each have our own rooms! Well I mean Tom and I will share but u know what I mean. At least it will be a little more privacy. So that should be less stressful...
Anyway... Merry Belated Christmas Everyone and Happy Early New Year!!

Not to mention. I'm a fat cow and can't lose weight. : (
Not like I'm trying that hard but I'm not on the pills that made me gain so much in the first place anymore so what theeeeeeeeeee hell!!

Sep. 20th, 2008

Got too many things going on at once but I wanted to write a quick entry to say:

We (Me, Tom, and Chloe)

are moving to Mississippi!! Tom got a great job offer and I can't wait it will be my adventure.

THen we are either going to Cali or Florida so we can go to college for free.
Him for computer stuff and for me...

well I decided , having Chloe now, I don't think I wanna be a forensic psychologist at this moment cuz I don't wanna be holding Chloe and thinking about interviewing a murderer and asking him why he raped and killed a little girl.

so im going to my second life long dream..... I'M GONNA BE A VET
prolly a zoo vet i want tigers and elephants rather than cats and dogs but i may do both who knows..

anyway off to have some damn good sexxxxxxxxxx

Jul. 29th, 2008

1) List 5 celebrities you would have sex with without even asking questions.
2) Put them IN ORDER of your lust for them [5 - 1, 1 is the hottest].
3) Supply photos for said people.
4) Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
5) Tag five people.

5) Trent from "Daria"      I love his laid-back style and if he were human... totally.


2) Hyde from That 70's Show. Cuz he's a smartass and a hott pot-head.

3) House from House. He just makes me wanna mmmmmmmmmmm 

ok and the next two are actual people not just characters.

2) Ok I know this seems lame and stereotypical but I always fall for sweet voices sooo... Jason Castro from freakin American Idol. I embarrass myself but w/e he's hott. And I loveeee goofballs. And the goofy face in this pic.

and of course.... I can't remember which movie got me hooked but I'd totally love to bang.......

Johnny Depp. Yeah I know.

mmmm he looks so dirty in a good way. And he cleans up nice.

A nice way to come back to lj world...


1) Raised in: Sterling Heights, MI

2) Your name: Mallory 

3) Birth date: March 31st

4) Any siblings: 4 sisters, one older

5) Oldest of them all: Megan

6) Hair color: I'm at the good old brown but coming in blonde. And this time it's coming in reallly light. Errr I hate it but I can't afford hair dye lol.

7) Hair length: I'd say about 3 inches past shoulders in front maybe 4 in back

8) First school: North Elementary.... closed down because of asbestos... nice huh?

9) Eye color: I really don't have one. I just have huge pupils. All the time. But the millimeter or two of color... is green.

10) Shoe size: 9 1/2

11) Mood: dissociative

12) College: not yet

13) Height: 5' 5" 1/2

14) Lefty/Righty: Righty


1) Do you remember your first real relationship:
yea and it sucked. It gave me major trust issues but I guess I also learned from it. You don't have to stay with someone cuz you think you can't do better.

2) Do you believe in love: I believe in a think called love
                                               just listen to the rythm of my heart.

3) Shortest relationship: a summer

4) Have you ever been heartbroken: twice

6) Have you ever fallen for a friend: yes, that would explain the shortest relationship lol.

7) Are you afraid of commitment: I was. Now it's just second nature. I just know we're gonna be a forever kinda thing ya know?


1) Love or Money: I already have love and me and my love need money lol

2) Coffee or alcohol: alcohol

3) One night stands or relationships: relationship

4) Television or internet: t.v.

5) Pepsi or Coke: both sound gross right now

6) Long night out or romantic night in: in

7) Phone or in Person: person, i hate the phone. hate hate.    <~~~~~~~~~~~agree


1) Have you ever been caught sneaking out: no

2) Have you ever skinny dipped: Yes

3) Have you ever been on a house boat: no

4) Have you ever finished an entire jawbreaker: yes

5) Have you ever colored your hair: yea

6) Have you ever been streaking? no


1) Are you talking to anyone right now: now

2) Are you German: yes

3) Are you Italian: no

4) Are you French:  french canadian... yes

5) Are you Mexican: no

6) Are you Dutch: No

7) Are you Indian: No

8) Are you Irish: no

9) Are you russian: yes ... and of course Polish

10) Are your parents still married: never were


1) Do you get depressed about things easily: right now yes. Damn PMS

2) Do you live life to the fullest: no

3) Are you comfortable with the way you look: not really

4) How do you dress: comfortably

5) Are you scared of growing old alone: nah

6) What do you want to be when you grow up: rich

7) Favorite season: spring

8) Are you a vegetarian: no
I don't think you're allowed to complain when you wake up and get to see this every morning... or middle of the night ; )

But I was singing to her and came across this song. I have flashbacks all the time and I just thought this was appropriate. Hopefully I can give everyone a good happy entry once in a while but I really only use livejournal. to get out emotions and thoughts and only when they're strong and these are just strongly depressing thoughts.
At least you can look at the cute baby pics. 

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far ....

...I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh
everyday of my life .....

...I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me

You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain

And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing 

So that's the song. I don't think anyone knew how bad it was and how much it affected me. Especially her. I was her pawn, to be used at her disposal to be lied to. I look in Chloe's eyes and wonder how can anyone do that. Maybe she couldn't look into my eyes, and that's how she did it. I need to get over this before Chloe gets too old and realizes Mommy why are you always crying. And I can't tell her. You're wonderful Grandma that you love so much caused mommy so much pain that she is scarred for life and doesn't know how to let go.

I'm also in the worst physical pain I've ever been in. I might be having surgery. I'm having a colonoscopy too. Yum.

I know I have Tom and Chloe and that I can't give up, But I've never wanted to more than I do right at this moment.
I want the easy way out.
But there isn't one.

cant type much,only have 1 hand,baby in arms but......


Life is starting.....

: D

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